Latest Posts
- Send is a Four-Letter-Word
I submitted four query letters, and oddly, it feels nothing like I thought it would. Nothing says professional like being supremely cranky and wanting to throw up. This is not the pinnacle of happiness I expected from being done done. I expected elation, and I got a nervous system revolt. Well, this is annoying. Now… Read more: Send is a Four-Letter-Word - Formatting, Querying and Other Excellent Ways to Lose Your Mind
I am now formatting my supposedly ‘finished’ manuscript. You know all the double spacing, indenting, Times New Roman, Victorian ankle-covering weirdness I talked about earlier? While doing that this afternoon, I suddenly developed a bad case of what-if-itis. What if that scene I pulled out to edit got put back in incorrectly? What if I… Read more: Formatting, Querying and Other Excellent Ways to Lose Your Mind - The Strange Torture of Writing About the Thing You Already Wrote
Unbelievably, I wrote about 60,000 words pretty easily, but then got stuck on approximately 450. The dreaded query letter. Yet another thing I was blissfully unaware of until I started this whole book-writing (no, you will never hear me say the word journey) process. Let me first say Tiffiny was enormously helpful, and the tirade… Read more: The Strange Torture of Writing About the Thing You Already Wrote - Cue the Prosecco and Paranoia: I Finished
I think it’s mostly ready to go. I feel like it’s VERY strong. I didn’t have a ton of feedback for you… Wut? She said it… I swear. I looked at the last round of edits (after doing stoopid work work) And I finished. Again… Wut? She said that, and my brain immediately opened up… Read more: Cue the Prosecco and Paranoia: I Finished - Skip the Pep Talk. Is It Good?
Like everyone else I do have things I’m sensitive about and people whose criticisms hit harder. Hard to tell me my butt is big from the afterlife, eh, mom? But when it comes to writing I seem to have extraordinarily thick skin. Perhaps its from writing an online blog. Trust me, you do hear it… Read more: Skip the Pep Talk. Is It Good? - Somewhere Between Beverly Cleary and V.C. Andrews
Ugh. Finding books similar to mine is hard. Yet another thing I had NO idea I had to do. I was blissfully unaware of all the work that goes into a book. I pictured myself as Jo March in Little Women, writing a book. Turns out writing a book is closer to Annie Wilkes torturing… Read more: Somewhere Between Beverly Cleary and V.C. Andrews - When It Comes to Writing, We Are Legion
I have a meeting with Tiffiny the day after tomorrow about my synopsis and query letter. I swear. I just had to take an actual break from writing like an eleven-year-old and writing about small-town city council meetings. And buy more disco ball supplies for my girls’ night. Of course. And I entered a short… Read more: When It Comes to Writing, We Are Legion - Three Writing Voices, One Overworked Brain
A couple of days ago, I was in my local grocery store, and I could have sworn the muzak was playing ‘Closer’ by Nine Inch Nails (if you know, you know). I thought, Well, that’s an interesting choice for a corporate entity. I checked out, got in my car, and realized I had been walking… Read more: Three Writing Voices, One Overworked Brain - Deliberately Invisible to Reluctantly Findable
I’m Gen X. In other words, old. I was after Polaroids and before cell phone cameras. I grew up in a time when, if you wanted to see a picture, you planned it, took it, went to the *Fotomat, had it printed and then saw what you looked like. You weren’t constantly assaulted by your… Read more: Deliberately Invisible to Reluctantly Findable - Query, Synopsis, Read-Aloud, Repeat
Ok, well, that was a little unprofessional. But really, I had to blow off some steam. This is hard, REALLY hard. Past Melissa thought the query was hard? Isn’t she cute? I had dipped into the synopsis pond briefly, dipped out, had my whole messy literary affair moment and then came back to it all.… Read more: Query, Synopsis, Read-Aloud, Repeat - Back to Cloudia After a Brief Affair
I was only supposed to wink. Let me explain myself. I’ve had an idea for a different book for a LONG while. I even have a title from a former friend. A play on words he used to describe me. I’m not telling you what it is. I had the title and a general idea… Read more: Back to Cloudia After a Brief Affair - I’m Not Leaving Cloudia. I’m Just Winking at Someone Else.
Sigh. I’m feeling completely overwhelmed by work work (Living Snoqualmie), housework (messy husband), and the ENDLESS work I have to do on edits and the dreaded query letter, which led me to the synopsis. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?? I offered to pay Tiffiny to do it, and I’m not proud of it. She very… Read more: I’m Not Leaving Cloudia. I’m Just Winking at Someone Else. - The More I Learn About Writing, the Less Qualified I Feel
Who the F**k Put Me in Charge?* *Yes, I know I curse like a sailor. I’m NOT working on it. This thought has been a recurring pattern throughout my adult life. I aspired to be more in the jobs I had, got there and then felt completely incompetent. The first time it happened was when… Read more: The More I Learn About Writing, the Less Qualified I Feel - Seventh Grade Typing Class But Make It Publishing.
You want me to indent my paragraphs, double-space, and use Times New Roman? Am I back in seventh-grade typing class with white-out staining my fingers, trying desperately to get to 40 wpm while the teacher looks over my shoulder? Well, that just seems antiquated. Who knew there are many rules to submitting manuscripts? I have… Read more: Seventh Grade Typing Class But Make It Publishing. - Tiffiny Said They’re Done. I Have It in Writing.
I had mentioned to Tiffiny I was going to a glassblowing class, and I did! Great teacher, great friends there. Hated it. See, it’s August in the PNW and not my time to shine. I had sweat dripping off my nose, fuzzy hair everywhere and a blowtorch. Who gave me a *blowtorch? Seems…unwise. *Note: Sorry,… Read more: Tiffiny Said They’re Done. I Have It in Writing. - The Sun Started It.
I’m very fair, green-eyed, pink and freckled, with fuzzy curly hair. Is my hair orange like my main character’s? Nope, and I’m pretty mad about it. Was it red when I was younger? Also yes, but like my mother’s, it faded to a mousey color pretty early on. My sister, however, got a glorious head… Read more: The Sun Started It. - Almost There. Allegedly.
How can I STILL be finding things to fix? HOW?? I started feeling like I was editing the soul out of Cloudia. Polished started to feel too polished, you know? I’m not polished, and I’m not terribly interested in polished (I promise I’ll stop saying polished in a second here). Perfection has never been my… Read more: Almost There. Allegedly. - I Thought I Was Finished. Adorable.
Maybe it’s just me, but writing a book is kind of making me feel like Sisyphus, rolling his boulder up the hill, only to have it – well, you know the story. I know, I know I’m being very dramatic comparing myself to a mythological Greek king, but have we met? Do you remember being… Read more: I Thought I Was Finished. Adorable. - There Was Screeching. Then There Were Rewrites.
My husband thought I was insane. I was. My dog thought I was scary. I was. My friends thought I was annoying. I was. I had a goal of a chapter a day and did six the first day! No problem! I’ll be done with this in a week! Oh, Melissa, you big, dumb Pig… Read more: There Was Screeching. Then There Were Rewrites. - I Had No Business Writing a Middle Grade Book
I clearly had no business writing a middle-grade book, and I often have stopped to wonder why I did it. I started writing a book in my mid-thirties about all my uber-rich dog-walking and training clients. Some of them should be VERY afraid. I had one who was the wife of a bigwig at a… Read more: I Had No Business Writing a Middle Grade Book - Well, Sh*t. The Editor Had Notes.
I was completely book blind at this point. I looked at it daily but couldn’t see it. HALP! So, with the aid of good old Google, I started looking for a developmental editor. I posted the job on a well-known website (don’t ask me, because I won’t tell), and I was made to feel like… Read more: Well, Sh*t. The Editor Had Notes. - I Wrote a Book. I Was Very Proud of Myself.
I thought about just starting this one off with a line of ha-has, but that’s not very literary, is it? Throughout my short process of writing Cloudia for the first time (foreshadowing), I showed it to a few people, and they all thought it was fabulous! After YEARS of writing about city council meetings and… Read more: I Wrote a Book. I Was Very Proud of Myself. - The Writing Was Easy. I Think I Was Doing It Wrong.
I’m not entirely sure how I got from that moment of white-hot annoyance to deciding to write a children’s book. I don’t have children, and I am decidedly NOT young child-friendly. Call me crazy, but I prefer kids at that weird hormonal 14-year-old stage. I always had it in the back of my head that… Read more: The Writing Was Easy. I Think I Was Doing It Wrong. - Five Years of Facts, Then I Started Making Things Up
What was I thinking? I’m not a journalist; this is nuts! How am I responsible for informing all these people? I was in RETAIL for years. I’m actually kind of dumb; ask anyone. Imposter syndrome hit me HARD. It was all fun and games writing about critters and funny stories, but now I had to… Read more: Five Years of Facts, Then I Started Making Things Up - I Said Yes to a Dog Column. Things Escalated
I think one of my first columns for Living Snoqualmie was about proper poop etiquette. Yes, I was fully immersed in the dog training world at this point. It was fairly preachy and high-and-mighty, and I had my first taste of interweb trolls, but I was having a blast. Looking back, the articles weren’t all… Read more: I Said Yes to a Dog Column. Things Escalated - I Never Had a Plan, Which Explains a Lot
I kind of drifted through my earlier adult life without much purpose. I didn’t know what I wanted to be, but I knew I wanted no part in being whatever it was that was expected of me. Was I a little rebellious? Yes. Did I have reasons for that? Also, yes, but that’s old history… Read more: I Never Had a Plan, Which Explains a Lot - Things I Read Instead of Going Outside
Ahh, childhood. For some, summer was all about being in the sun, tanned and gloriously free. I do remember briefly being one of those kids who loved to run, swim and bike. But then, I hit a growth spurt, or rather, the growth spurt hit me. Somehow, in the summer between the 5th and 6th… Read more: Things I Read Instead of Going Outside
